Over anniversary dinner each November, Kyle and I reflect on all that’s transpired since we shared that meal a year before — the highs, lows, growth and change. We talk about the early days of our relationship and marvel at the way it feels so much less green-on-the-vine and at the same time, still fresh and new. The conversation always weaves around to the people we do life with too… new friendships that have sprung up, and others that have transitioned or changed — either to shallower depths or unexpected closeness.
A few months ago, I received a text from an old friend going through a hard breakup. We worked together about 8 years ago at a coffee shop — me in my late 20s trying to make a professional leap, her still in high school. For the years since, we’d really only seen each other a handful of times, checking in on Facebook or the occasional spontaneous drop-in. But today, she needed a place to stay until she could get her feet back under her… and she’d thought of us. Without hesitation Kyle and I readied the guest room.
While “M” ended up staying just 2 weeks, what has happened since has impacted us for life. During her time with us, she transitioned through her grief and on to asking some hard questions about who she really is and what she wants out of life — then bravely showed up to find the answers. She lined up a temporary living situation with a friend in town and went about creating a plan to put her culinary training to real use. She met with her therapist, read piles of books, popped by weekly for babysitting, wine or dinner, and did loads of introspective work. Today she’s moving to NYC to pursue a career in pastry. I couldn’t possibly feel more proud — or bittersweet — about the whole thing. We got a front row seat to her entire transformation — recovering parts of herself she’d sacrificed for the sake of the relationship and ultimately unfurling like a rose. My excitement for her future is palpable. It’s all been such a gift to witness.
You see, when you create a cozy, safe place for people to land… they’re going to accidentally become family. The line between friendship and kinship will likely become so blurred, so decidedly flimsy you won’t even be able to name all the ways your hearts have grown connected. Never underestimate the power of a warm bed and an open heart.
I can’t say I loved seeing our house key returned to us last night, but I’ll always treasure the unexpected closeness we got from a few dear months intimately connected with M. I guess good old goldie will just have to wait here for the next person passing through.
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