Unexpected Whimsy – Part 2

This week I’m featuring what I call “unexpected whimsy” and the role it plays in making a space feel cozier by sharing a few of the fun ways it shows up in our home. (Refer to yesterday’s post for more background.) This little vignette is in our daughter’s nursery. It’s full of custom art, bits of greeting cards I received at her baby shower, a felted doe and fawn pair I found at an antique store right after I discovered I was pregnant with her. Did it need a tiny golden penguin perched atop, proudly dancing outside the lines? Probably not. But does he bring me immense joy? You bet. I’ll happily retrieve him for her to play with once she grows out of literally wanting to gobble him up. And what about the fairy door down there on the baseboard? It was definitely not a need, but darn-it-all if I don’t swoon every time I see it just imagining how she’ll lay there on her belly tracing its ivy vines with her tiny fingers.

These little bits of whimsy bring me more delight than I can express – and make me smile at the future we will share watching her grow. I love rocking her and daydreaming about who she will be. I hope she loves this special little slice of our home that’s all hers. (The little blue deer plaque hails from our faves @rebelreclaimed, the print with the coral oval says “Be Brave” and was made by our friend Emilie of @liefdesign as well as the commissioned scripture verse in calligraphy. And of course some framed Rifle Paper Co. stock because always amazing.)

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Unexpected Whimsy – Part 1

Mantle decor

Someone recently asked me, “Why is there a fox in there?” After I thought a second, the only reasonable reply was, “because I like him.” And that, my friends is a huge key to feeling cozy in your own space. Don’t get me wrong, I’m ALL for minimalism. Decluttering our homes and heads frees us up in all sorts of ways. But, if you happen upon a little something – maybe even (GASP) something you don’t totally need – that brings you an unexplainable tinge of joy? Make it yours. Give it real estate in your day-to-day life. You’ll glimpse it out of the corner of your eye shuffling from here to there and smile to yourself. That’s worth it!

Which leads me to this week’s feature I’m calling “unexpected whimsy.” Anyone can walk into a furniture store and buy a beautiful dining set or tear a page from the Pottery Barn catalog and try to replicate it at home. But what about adding a little fun? What about a hidden element that means something sweet to you and maybe makes very little sense to someone else? That’s the whimsy only you can add, and it just might make your house feel like a home. This week I’ll be sharing a few of mine. What little treasures give you unexplainable happiness?

All in the family

Finishing up my series on food, nostalgia and coziness… the ultimate — my mom’s chocolate cake recipe. Oh my word you guys, all the praise hands and heart eyes for this cake and frosting.

The story on this cake is that it’s literally an answer to prayer. Mom had been on the lookout for a good chocolate cake recipe, sending up periodic requests for the right one to come her way. Then at a family reunion she had a piece and KNEW she had found it. She traced the cake to her cousin and the rest is delicious, fluffy, chocolatey-euphoric history.


The women in my family have a thing for desserts. We come by it honestly. My brother-in-law tells a story that when he and my sister were dating, he came over one night to find my mom walking on the treadmill… eating a piece of homemade fudge. I was doomed from the start. HA. There was another time she had just finished baking the most beautiful Oreo cheesecake and dropped it. We grabbed forks and ate it right off the kitchen floor, giggling the entire time. My mom has always made so many amazing desserts and pies from scratch, that for our birthdays we actually requested boxed cakes – FOR SOMETHING SPECIAL. (face palm) Now we know better. My other sister regularly cuts the recipe in half for an 8×8 pan like I did tonight. Otherwise, danger. We know the damage we are capable of.

Thanks Mom, for so many sweet memories topped off with a “Shelley-sized portion” of tastiness.

Mary’s Christmas pickles

Continuing this week’s focus on the coziness of nostalgia and food… As a fan of all-things-vintage, I loved my future mother-in-law’s idea of throwing me a bridal shower complete with teacups, antique family heirlooms and her closest friends. It was a special, sentimental day I cherish.

But my dearest moment of the day happened just as I walked through the door. Mary – a retired college professor and family friend – immediately came to greet me carrying a small box. She was in the middle stages of Alzheimer’s, at the cruel and bittersweet intersection of complete lucidity and constantly losing words. Between her nervous laughter, hanging sentences and my focused listening, I was able to piece together that she was giving me a gift they’d received for their wedding… a stack of pristinely pressed (and seemingly unused) cloth napkins. So dear.

It wasn’t long before the disease robbed her from us. At her funeral, each person received a handwritten recipe card for the pickles Mary had always made during Christmas. I’ve been obsessed with these pickles since our dating years when I shared my first holidays with Kyle’s family. They’re simple to make, deliciously crunchy, and dill but sweet — basically the best of all pickle worlds. I look forward to the batches my father-in-law now makes in her honor. So today I pass Mary’s recipe on to you, typos and all.

Here-ness. Dearness.

You know when a word or phrase keeps bouncing around in your head? This week mine has been, “Nearness, dearness, here-ness.” According to Professor Christian Bjørnskov, “It is through hygge that we find and build really strong relationships with other people. There is an effortlessness in hygge, which means that we can be together as friends and family without having any plans besides relaxing and enjoying a good time together. We dare to be who we are in each other’s company, and this affirms that we have stable relationships in our lives, meaning we will never stand alone. This is social security of great value, and one of the most important sources of our happiness. In hygge we also find a sincerity and comfort that means that we dare to express ourselves when we disagree. And when we, in a respectful and relaxed way, dare to discuss the bigger questions of life, we get the opportunity to see ourselves and the life we lead with a new perspective, becoming more aware of what makes us happy. At the same time this new perspective opens our eyes to what we are able to change in order to improve our wellbeing… hygge contributes to a general contentedness in the long run.”

Thus, here-ness. No agendas. No distractions. Valuing ourselves and each other enough to have real talk. The invitation to sit down at the table, stay awhile and forget time together.

Let us feast

I’ve had some trouble getting into the Fall spirit as it’s still 80 degrees here in West Michigan but I’m sorry, I just can’t bear the thought of sweating my way through a pumpkin patch. Lots of people love this weather and I’m not complaining — it IS beautiful — I’m just daydreaming of throw blankets and slippers, and rain boots and plaid scarves, and hot cider and apple pies, like a civilized Midwesterner. 😉But even with our unseasonable temps, today was decidedly cozy – because of my people.

When the babe fell asleep just as church let out, we decided on a Sunday drive out in the country to let her rest. We saw old barns and new fences, bumped along gravel roads and happened upon a small pond. We held hands and made jokes and enjoyed the feeling of having an almost 7 month old who has finally grown to tolerate an afternoon car ride.

It felt a little more like transitioning out of newborn survival mode into becoming a family — to a backdrop of passing orchards and changing leaves.
Then this evening we popped over for dinner with friends. We arrived expecting to order pizzas to keep things simple – but she’d prepared a veritable hygge feast! Italian sausage soup, challah bread and yummy roasted veggies with feta and farro a la Smitten Kitchen. We caught up on work life and ate seconds and basked in the safety of being known, juggling kids and stories and making plans to do it all again next week. It was that good kind of chaos we all need a little more of.


As we transition into the season of gratitude and harvest, make space for a little savoring. Don’t put off making plans with those you really love. It doesn’t have to be a holiday, pizza on any old Sunday will do. Thanks for filling our hearts and bellies, Havilah.

We time

My favorite tenet of Hygge is “We time, not me time.” Yes, laying in a hammock or curling up in a reading corner (two of my favorite solo past times) ARE cozy, but the truest forms of hygge are shared with people you love. That’s why when intentional togetherness becomes part of your personal values or family culture, hygge (and probably a little bickering 😏) isn’t far behind.

Let your goal be to create cozy, welcoming spaces, then intentionally carve out time to fill them with the laughter, vulnerability and warmth of shared meals, conversation and real relationship. Focus on the “we.”

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Simple ways to hygge

One way I like to cozy up a room is by adding an element or two that FEEL excessive but really aren’t:

– A faux fur throw (you bought at Big Lots. Our secret.)
– Salted Kerry Gold over everyday real butter and definitely over margarine. *shudder* (You can buy the Gold at Trader Joe’s these days! And they sell their own grass-fed version there now too.)
– A stack of 3-4 books on your coffee table instead of one huge one
– Lighting a candle or two in the middle of the day instead of only on “special occasions.” An impromptu coffee drop-in from a friend is special. YOU at home on a Saturday, unshowered and wearing yoga pants — special! (Speaking of candles, I love cinnamon or fir scented at Christmas and Volcano from Anthropologie the rest of the year, but you can even use a taper if you want to feel extra swag!) These “splurges” cost very little and make a big impact. I promise, you won’t regret buying these tiny luxuries for a second.

Mug club

What’s cozier than a hot cup of coffee or your favorite tea? Sipping from a mug that puts a smile on your face. A few years ago I created a rule that going forward I would only buy white dishes or servingware so they’d all match and I could use them for any occasion. (White is timeless and it super simplified my stash.) BUT I draw the line at accessories. In our kitchen you’ll find superhero drinking glasses, printed salad bowls and patterned ramekins. Bend the rules for things that bring you joy, I say.