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BE the light

I overheard a stranger at the mall confiding in his friend last night, “I’ve been doing the right thing for 10 years already and it hasn’t made any difference. I’m not doing it anymore.” My heart sank for the guy. You could hear his frustration and despair. The fact of the matter is, as beautiful and magical as they are, holidays are also hard. So many people dread this time of year because they’re grieving, struggling, lonely, stressed out, or in peril… broken hearts needing comfort and joy. Maybe you are one of them.

light in the darkness
I’ve personally experienced the pain of excruciating loss and betrayal, and yet I still believe there is always hope. No tear goes unseen. There’s a scripture verse that says “The light shines in the dark and the darkness has not overcome it.” Sometimes all we need is a sliver of light to cut through the darkness we’re facing. And sometimes we can even BE that light for someone else. I mean, it’s the broken vessel that spills out the most light, right?

This holiday, may we find light and hope in the middle of despair. May we tune our ears to the needs around us. And may our homes be cozy, safe, hope-lit havens for those needing a soft place to land.

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Permission to let things go

I was texting with a friend last night about Christmas decorating and she casually mentioned once inheriting a box of tacky (but-not-in-a-charming-way) ornaments which she labeled in permanent marker, “things I keep out of guilt.” While the honesty made me laugh, I haven’t been able to shake the concept. I keep wondering, how many things do we have cluttering up our shelves, attic corners and headspace, simply out of obligation? Of course, I’m not recommending you cause a family rift or dispose of valuable family heirlooms, but I do think the idea is worth exploring – at least internally. There’s a reason why Marie Kondo’s approach to purging has been so widely received – sometimes we just need permission to let things go.

Are there things in your home directly affecting your joy, coziness or peace of mind? What are you holding onto that’s actually working against feeling restful in your own home? What would happen if you considered doing something different? ‘Tis the season for comfort AND joy, after all.

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Oh, it’s personal.

When planning our wedding, we knew it would be beautiful and fun, but it was also really important to us that it feel personal. One night about 2 weeks before the wedding I was laying in bed mentally running through my mile-long to-do list and had a brilliant idea: we would write personal notes to every single person on their seating card. (When I saw Kyle a few days later I told him my idea and he happily agreed to write for each of the guests on his list. We had almost 200 people! #keeper) It turned out to be the perfect way to ensure we made a personal connection with every guest in lieu of the craziness of the day, it let them know their presence mattered and gave them a special extra favor they could carry home in their pocket and heart. Now, 6 years later we still hear from people how much they appreciated the gesture.

These types of special touches make extravagant or busy parties feel personal. They cozy up spaces that might otherwise feel awkward or stuffy – and help to draw introverts out into the room. Plus, what’s more hygge than personal connection and warmth!?

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When should you decorate for Christmas?

When should you decorate for Christmas? If you’re a purist (like I once was), by all means wait until after Thanksgiving! Down with Christmas creep! But, if you think holiday tunes are acceptable at Halloween, you do you and get to decking. I’m of the persuasion that it’s okay to celebrate as early and as long as you want.


My husband and I grew up in the Christmas tree capital of the world and always had real trees in our homes growing up. Our first two married Christmases we had real trees too (and learned the joys of sawing off extra branches when you have no tools to your name yet. The first year he literally had to use this tiny all-purpose tool on his keychain. It was basically like sawing with a finger! HA.) I loved buying ornaments and making our first holidays together – but between buying, wrapping, baking, hosting, work parties, etc. I remember feeling like I barely had time to actually enjoy the season. So I made a values-based decision and sprung for a fake tree. Now that may sound counterintuitive given our background (and it did take some time to warm up to), but I figured – if I can decorate before Thanksgiving, then the second I return home with a belly full of turkey, I can begin Christmasing. That’s one huge task off my list and that much more time for being present. My next goal is to completely finish shopping before turkey day too.

Just think, how much more meaningful could your Advent season be with a few tweaks? Is there something you can simplify, drop or add? What if you pause to light a candle each day this season, take a deep breath and say a quick prayer? I did this small practice a couple of years ago and really grew to value it. Take time for cozy. Being intentional can help you make time for cozy. It’s one of the best gifts you can give yourself.