We’ve all witnessed the insane frenzy of a 4-year old tearing open one gift only to look at it for .00034 seconds then hurriedly toss it over their shoulder in search of the next. Perhaps you’ve also experienced something similar fighting your way through crowds at Target just to get every-last-gift checked off your list. This is the age-old trap of a consumeristic Christmas, but this can be the year things change. Here are just a few ways you can pull in the reins, creatively cut back and help your kids shift their focus just a bit.
Think experiences over gifts (with a twist). If your kid is really into something, it’s natural to want to buy them all the themed things you can find. (Winslow just saw the first Frozen movie and now she’s #teamolaf all the way. It’s adorable and when she sings, “who knew we had 8,000 salad plates…!?” I want to give her all the snowflake things ever.) But that’s not necessary, and it’s not smart for the clutter factor around here, because she will move on from it soon. We bought one stuffed Olaf and that’ll be it. But, she’s also been showing a lot of interest in “helping” in the kitchen. For her birthday we bought this learning tower where she can stand at the counter and color when it’s a desk — and these kid-safe knives that actually cut. She loves helping me with dinner or when I’m mixing and baking something. She goes straight to the drawer to pull out her utensils. These are the types of things I mean for “experiences.” You don’t have to throw out all the holiday traditions and make a big sweeping event like an overnight trip away (and later wake up with no presents under the tree). I don’t think there’s anything wrong with completely skipping presents in lieu of a big family experience if that’s right for you, but I thing it’s easier for everyone to digest the change if you find the sweet spot somewhere in between. Subscriptions, memberships or events: This year for Christmas, Winslow’s grandparents are paying for swim lessons because she loved the lake last summer. And they paid for her to receive Kiwi Crates earlier in the year. It’s such a fun thing to look forward to each month. Every local theater is performing something special for Christmas, ask a loved one to purchase tickets for an evening out instead of a pile of gifts.
Buy less, but up the fun. I love the idea of creating a scavenger hunt when it’s time to open gifts. I haven’t done this for Christmas morning yet, but at Winslow’s first birthday party I did this instead of games for the kids (and even the 14 year olds loved it!). Her birthday is in the Spring, so I bought a package of tiny, rubber bunny erasers and wrote every child’s name on two of them. Then we hid them all over the house, with the difficulty level determined by their age. When they found their two bunnies, they could turn them in for a prize. You could actually hide your kids gifts too, or just keep them out of sight until their hidden “goodies” are found. You could purchase less items, but create a bigger more memorable experience they’ll remember for years to come. Here are a couple idea for the items you could hide: Bottle brush trees. You could assign a color for each child to find, then use these in your holiday decorating too. Variety pack of Christmas erasers. I’d recommend hiding more than 2 goodies each, so the experience will last a little longer, or have kids take turns looking.
Give (in addition, or instead). There are plenty of ways you can serve in your community. Rescue missions and charity organizations are always looking for volunteers, and lots of churches too. You could “adopt” a local family in need to buy for as well. I think it’s a good idea to brainstorm with your children to figure out what you’ll do. Will they get less gifts this year so other kids can have something? Will you do a project together to raise money? Will you give them a budget they can spend, but they get to help pick out the items? I am a huge fan of The Giving Manger. We bought one last year for Winslow it’s the sweetest thing. There’s a book and a small manger that comes with straw and a hand-crafted wooden baby Jesus. The book creatively tells the story about a family who did small acts of kindness the whole month leading up to Christmas. Each time they did something for someone else, they placed piece of straw in the manger. Then on Christmas, they have created a bed for Jesus. Plus, their website and Instagram are full of lists of creative ideas to get kids involved with giving.
Institute a new tradition. Maybe the problem in your home is just too many gifts. It’s lovely to have so many people who love your kids, but sometimes there’s just a little too much generosity (especially if remarriage or blending has multiplied the grandparents). You can ask the adults in your life to do less or give differently, but ultimately that’s out of your control. Grandma’s gonna spend what grandma wants to spend. What you can control, is how much you buy. My friend Lori instituted this tradition of giving and it’s worked well for her family: they only buy “Something you want, something you need, something to wear, something to read.” Your child will still receive a well-rounded group of gifts from you, just less. (This would work well with the scavenger hunt too!)
Be more strategic. I don’t know a child who wouldn’t have to have their room redone. Granted, this type of project could become expensive, but things like this are often overlooked because they don’t necessarily make sense wrapped under the tree. But if you’re planning on buying something larger for your child this year (maybe to do with a sport they’re in), there’s no reason not to find a way to make it part of their Christmas. Think strategically about how you could wrap something you’re going to spend money on anyway into their Christmas.
Don’t change anything, just add in more meaning. Some of you are happy with the way things are and that’s great. If you’re just looking for a few ideas to infuse more meaning or giving into your lives consider Little Renegades Mindfulness cards, subscribing to Sparkle Stories podcasts for kids or The Giving Manger’s new Kindness Cards that work well all year.
Need ideas for the hard-to-shop for people in your life? I pulled together another list just for you.
It may be the first day of spring but I’m holding on to comfort food with both hands until these chilly temps catch up. And I prefer said comfort foods to have butter and cheese. Lots of it.
Let’s talk about birthdays a minute. There are always going to be those women who overachieve at party planning — but you don’t have to. It’s okay to throw a kid’s party and ditch the treat bags. You have my permission to completely skip streamers and balloons. And it’s most definitely acceptable to pick up a cake at Costco and call it a day. The important thing is making sure your birthday babe and guests enjoy themselves.
I will say, the one thing simple party planning can’t do is remove the nostalgic sadness of watching your child grow up (I know this from experience now), but it can free you up to be completely in the moment — feeling all the feels about the day. So before you hop on Pinterest to pile on the ideas (and obligations), stop and think about how you really want your guests to feel when they leave, and gauge your capacity for energy vs. enjoyment. These milestones should be about making memories and meaning, not doing more.
